Who we are
By Ernie The Attorney
Our website address is:
https://
www.
factoryoptic
.com
We don’t collect personal data and “Comments”
We’ve made extra sure that there are no BLOGS or comment areas on this website so, visitors can come in anytime and stay as long as they’d like – but they will never find us asking them for anything – we do not employ a “Comment Form” system.
It’s not that we DON’T want to hear from you …
Visitors can write to Factory Optic anytime using our visitor-friendly email: email hidden; JavaScript is required. We usually answer these emails over lunch, from the Factory Commissary, between bites – please be patient with us … due to our heavy workload, it sometimes takes awhile to get back to you.
“Out there” in the day-to-day Internet grind, an anonymized string is created from your email address (also called a hash), but here, inside The Factory, incoming emails are not saved or even monitored. (Other companies may use your email address, by providing it to the Gravatar service to see if you are using it. A typical Gravatar service privacy policy is available here: https://automattic.com/privacy/). After approval of your comment, your profile picture is visible to the public in the context of your comment – that is how it works ‘out there’ but, once again, we do not do this ‘in here’ – we do not collect any data at all from you.
Media
Media: Also known as “The Devils’s Eyeball” is something that the crew here, at The Factory, have no time for. We are way too BUSY for that! Therefore, you cannot upload images to this website (PERIOD) so, there is no danger in uploading images with embedded location data (EXIF GPS) included. Visitors to this website can download and extract any location data from images that we’ve used in the creation of our web experience … but why would you even want to do that? How will that help you get through life? Think about it …
Contact Forms – NONE
That’s right: NONE. That’s the way we like it. Everyone here at The Factory stay pretty darn busy over the course of our individual 23-hour daily shifts so really, who has the time to pour through “Contact Forms”? We don’t! If you need something, just use the telephone – our trusty Switchboard Operators are standing by to take your call. Not sure what they’ll do with it once they take it, but …
COOKIES
Cookies?? Yes! That is a capital idea! With cold milk, okay? That is our favorite! Management allows one “Cookie and Milk” break each day – in lieu of lunch, of course …
Oh – sorry – you mean the other kind of cookies, don’t you? Well, since you cannot leave a COMMENT on our site, there is no need to opt-in to saving your name, email address and website in cookies. These are for your convenience so that you do not have to fill in your details again when you leave another comment. But, that doesn’t apply to this website because, in case you missed it the other two times it was stated, we don’t take comments from you! Cookies typically last for one year – but, with us, there is no issue since we are not collecting data from you. Remember?
We have no Log-In Page
So, don’t push it. Stop asking. Don’t force me to actually write one and implement it. I have enough to do. They don’t call me “Ernie The Attorney” for nuthin’ … See, I’ll never sue you unless you have it comin’ but, if I do, it’ll be done in all earnest – that’s right, my motto is: ‘Earnestly, I’ll Litigate’ – sincerely, Ernest Lee-Lyle Littygate, Esquire
Embedded content from other websites
Although not the case today (2020), someday, articles on this site may include embedded content (e.g. videos, images, articles, etc.). Embedded content from other websites behaves in the exact same way as if the visitor has visited the other website … and not only that, but very often, embedded content behaves badly – very badly – spreading rumors and half-truths … BEWARE of Embedded Content!
Now, back to the facts: These so-called quote/unquote “other” websites may collect data about you, use cookies, embed additional third-party tracking, and monitor your interaction with that embedded content, including tracking your interaction with the embedded content if you have an account and are logged in to that website … as well as spread rumors and half-truths about you, whilst defaming your personal character! Again, BEWARE of Embedded Content!
Aren’t you glad that our fine website doesn’t have any?
Your contact information …
… is of no interest to us.
Additional information
What are the four data breach procedures we have in place:
- None
- None
- None
and finally - None
What third parties we receive data from
No-one
What automated decision making and/or profiling we do with user data
We don’t
Industry regulatory disclosure requirements
Really? There are actually requirements? Well, I’ll have to look into that. I am an attorney, you, know. And a damn good one, I’m told …
See you ’round The Factory … and if I don’t see you there, I’ll see you in court!
Ernie